It was a long path from blind faith in the teachings of a guru to trusting my inner guru. At first, I was convinced that yoga is a panacea to all problems. If only I followed a particular discipline prescribed by a self-proclaimed guru, I would be saved, and I would have the power to save others. It took me years to realise that any teaching should be filtered through judgement based on my personal experience. Only recently I learned I could tap into self-healing power only by trusting my inner Self. More importantly, I got convinced that the teacher isn’t there to play a role of an omniscient expert, ready to answer all your questions, tell you what you should do and definitely should not, or even cure you of any pain or ailments.
People tend to look up to their teachers, therapists, or experts in a particular field. Modern medicine also made people believe that a professional has the KNOWLEDGE, hence could solve all their problems. Furthermore, capitalism made people used to the scheme: I pay you so that you fix me. Ideally, straight away.
However disappointing it might sound, it simply doesn’t work that way. Whoever went from one specialist to another with a range of seemingly unrelated issues, never getting a satisfactory diagnosis, neither finding prescribed treatment much helpful, would already know that. The second part of that realisation is much more difficult to digest: nobody can help you, apart from yourself. Any healing, or simply improving the quality of life, cannot happen without you ALLOWING it to happen from within. There are many mechanisms of mental resistance at play, so it could take quite a long time to notice, acknowledge and finally process them.
Unsurprisingly, this customer/ patient mentality causes a variety of challenges to the teacher. As a teacher (and a therapist), I always thought it’s my mission and my duty to help others. Let’s not deceive ourselves: it was also the source of job satisfaction. The problem is, help cannot be forced. Just as you cannot make an alcoholic quit drinking, however good intentions you have, you cannot cure someone’s chronic pain or stress-related issues. Good intentions, knowledge and experience, might even get in the way of helping out. Coming from a position of an expert, the teacher would prescribe something he is convinced about. But there is no guarantee it is going to help a particular individual in a specific situation!
Doing some poses or movements mechanically, without the inner feedback, without the ability to let go and deeply listen is likely to give just temporary relief, if any. Worse, it could create a compulsion, a conviction that without this particular teacher or this particular therapy, the pain/problem would return. It creates a dangerous dependence pattern, which disempowers the student/client and feeds both ego and a wallet of a teacher/therapist.
You might start wondering by now, what is the yoga teacher for, then? So what are you paying for if you cannot get any guarantee of an easy solution in return? If you can’t be even sure that your teacher will keep you safe and prevent you from injuries? It might seem like washing hands from responsibility, like in those wavers you sign in the registration form: ‘I am fully responsible for my body’.
Some time ago, I stopped asking people if they have particular injuries and prescribing them what they should or shouldn’t do. I’m not a medical doctor. I might not have even heard about their condition. More importantly, I am not inside anyone else’s body. I’m sorry to say that, but it’s true: you are fully responsible for your body during a yoga class.
Although some teachers might appear like generals in the army, you are not obliged to follow their orders. Always treat the teacher as someone who gives you guidelines, suggestions. Ultimately, you decide how far you want to move or how long you want to stay in a pose. It is in your own interest to make that decision based on the sensations, taking into account any warning signs from your body. If you ignore those signals (due to ego or competitiveness), you should be ready to take responsibility for this attitude. A good teacher will never force you to do anything. He will not make you feel worse than other students if you choose to do things differently. If something doesn’t feel right, most probably it isn’t right for you. Always remember that.
The greatest challenge for the teacher is to navigate through all those feelings of being judged, or not feeling good enough, or expectations that drive students during the class.
It all boils down to creating a safe space where students learn to observe their bodies, breath and emotions and tune into their needs. It’s a long process, of course. A process the teacher is unable to speed up. The moment you stop looking at your teacher or other students to copy them and draw the attention inwards to search for answers would become the turning point. Since then, the yoga practice gains a whole new quality altogether. It could take months or even years. It’s something that has to ‘click’ inside you.
Yoga isn’t about learning new poses, becoming strong and more flexible, nor about breathing or moving ‘correctly’. It is about honouring your own Self: an intricately linked entity made of body, emotions and thoughts. Yoga means freedom and ease of movement, the ability to trust the support of the Earth to release unnecessary physical and mental tension and creating space to feel and accept whatever happens within mind and body. The methods are irrelevant, so long as you learn to embody those ideals on and off the mat. You could only give credit to your teacher for showing you the path. You are the one to take the first step.