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The recent 3-day Vipassana meditation course has been another reminder for me that we’re the creators of our own misery.

In Vipassana meditation technique, first created by Gautama Buddha and taught by the late S.N. Goenka, you need to stay seated motionless for an hour, focusing on sensations experienced in the present moment. You should be able to register all the sensations from every tiny part of your body: those gentle and strong, those pleasant and unpleasant. You should also stay equanimous while you’re observing them, restraining any clinging/craving or aversion/dislike. Vipassana is said to enable you to rewire the subconscious mind; it teaches you not to react to whatever might befall you.

Meditation on the train
You can meditate anytime& anywhere, here: on an Indian train

Why is it such a good thing not to react? What’s wrong with feeling sad or happy when there’s a reason for that? It’s because responding to a transient, constantly changing reality is counter- productive and -more often than not- simply not worth it. I’ll give you a simple example. Imagine you get instantly angry because of the noise that disturbed your sleep. The next moment the noise is already gone. What was the use of creating negativity in you mind? You only have a trouble falling asleep again, due to the physiological changes and mental turmoil the anger caused. Knowing the long-term effect of stress or depression on health, quality of life and life expectancy, this theory makes a lot of sense.

Vipassana technique when performed correctly ends the perpetuation of negative behavioural patterns and enables you to reach the state of constant peace and harmony, regardless of the external circumstances. Vipassana gives you the practical tools to follow the Yoga philosophy. As one of the kirtans (devotional songs) of Sivananda style states: ‘Bear insult, bear injury- highest sadhana [spiritual practice]/ Bear insult, bear injury- highest Yoga’.

I chose to practice Vipassana meditation (as preferable to the mantra meditation usually used in yoga) because the instructions are very clear and down-to-earth, even though they are extremely tough to master. It is quite a challenge to sit through the excruciating pain (which inevitably appears after almost 10 hours of meditation a day). One does get used to it pretty quickly, though. What is more difficult is staying equanimous, not reacting mentally to the pain. The detachment comes and goes but with time and practice, the progress becomes apparent.

However, the real test comes when you’re leaving the peaceful atmosphere of the meditation centre where no triggers of negativity exist and you’re back to the real life. However full of love, calmness and pureness I feel each time after a month in a yoga ashram or a few days at the meditation centre, those feelings evaporate terrifyingly quickly once I return home. Old, bad habits always get the better of me a few days/weeks after returning. Also this time, the immediate effect of the Vipassana meditation has began to wane just 3 days after returning from the retreat. My husband sometimes tells me that my efforts are futile. I totally disagree. If I don’t try, how can I ever succeed?

Reaching the end of my no-complaining challenge (see the my post on contentment: https://padmakshidiary.wordpress.com/2014/06/07/the-importance-of-staying-content/) I can already see it was definitely worth undertaking it. I recollect just 4-5 major bouts of complaints which is amazingly good result for me. Despite uncountable failures in restraining negativity within me, I believe the cumulative effect of my efforts will remain. The process of controlling the emotions and thoughts is very long and slow. It requires patience and persistence. I have both so will keep you posted on the progress.